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Tag Yer Ed/Script
box of Chunky Puffs is sitting in a cupboard. On the cover it says "Free Prize!" Ed: it "Yum yum yum!" Edd and Eddy: "Chunky Puffs!" Eddy: the box "Ooh, a prize." Ed: "What is it?" takes the box. "Low in fat. Cool!" Eddy: "Don't wreck your brain, Ed." steals the box back and rummages through it. "You gotta know where to look!" Ed: on Eddy "Give me my fat!" through the box, he pulls out Eddy "Oh, look! No fat, but I got an Eddy prize!" Eddy: "Yeah? Well I got the SUPER STUFFED MARSHMALLOW SURPRISE!" pulls the prize out and stuffs it in Ed's mouth. Edd: the box from Ed "You should chew your food, Ed." Eddy: "Any time you feel like letting me go there, Lumpy, I'd really–" drops him. ---- Eds are at the kitchen table. Edd: "Allow me to pour your milk?" Eddy: "I love Chunky Puffs!" milk comes out as a big glob. It has clearly rotted. Eddy: "I hate chunky milk." Ed: "I know where we can get new milk!" ---- Eds are looking over the fence at Rolf's backyard. Ed has a bucket with him. Eddy: "Are you sure about this, Ed?" Ed: "Oh, yeah, I've seen Rolf do it before. It's easy." Eds enter the shed. Inside is Rolf's cow. Edd: "I'm not sure this is legal." Eddy: "Sure it is! Cows are public property. Like trees. So, how's it work?" Ed: "Uh, Rolf did some stuff and milk came out." Eddy: the cow's tail "How hard can it be?" sticks his head in one of the cow's nostrils. "Any milk yet, Ed?" Ed: "Milk? Uh, not yet Eddy." Cow: "MROO." Ed: his head in the cow's nostril "AAAAAHHH!" Eddy: "AAAHH! It said something!" Edd: "Your techniques are incorrect, Eddy. To extract milk from a cow, you must use its udder." points at the udders. Eddy: a long pause "I ain't touching that." Ed: "You first, Double D." Edd: "Oh, look, my shoe's untied." bends over and leaves. Ed: "Mine too!" exits in the same manner, sticking one of his feet in the air. ---- Eds are on a log in the Lane, eating dry cereal. Edd: "Gracious Ed, don't you have any manners?" plucks one Puff from the box and eats it. "May I have another?" football hits him on the side of the head, knocking him off the log. Kevin: "C'mon, dork, throw it over!" Edd: "Certainly, Kevin. Here it comes!" throws it up in the air. It comes down and ends up in approximately its initial position. "Huh?" attempts to roll it but it doesn't go far. Kevin: laughing "You throw like a two-year-old." Rolf: "Ya, and two-year-olds are not even good at stuffing sausages!" both laugh. Edd: humbled "Well um...my skills aren't uh–" Eddy: "He'll show you!" Kevin: "Show me what, his butterfly collection?" Rolf: "Ya, and butterflies cannot stuff sausages either!" Kevin: away with Rolf "Stop with the sausage stuff, Rolf, you're killing me!" Rolf: the distance "You crazy?" Kevin: "Ha!" Eddy: Edd "Don't let him get away with that!" Edd: "But I do have quite an extensive collection of butterflies–" Eddy: "We need to help you with your confidence, Double D." ---- kids are playing in the lane as Ed carries a bunch of homemade exercise equipment outside, Eddy and Edd in tow. Eddy: "Where ya going, Double D? The punching sock awaits." turns Edd towards the sock. "Let's see what's in those puny, skinny sticks you call arms." Edd: "I'm not really comfortable with this, Eddy." Eddy: "Go on! Whack it!" takes a jab at it. He hits it, and his arm crumples. His hand immediately swells up in pain. The sock, on the other hand, does not move one inch. Edd: "GAHOH!" Eddy "Eddy, training is painful." Eddy: "You're just starting to feel the burn, Double D!" Kevin: behind them "Yeah, you better get some ointment, Double Dork." his football "Hey Rolf! Incoming!" Eddy: Edd over to the treadmill "Forget him. Your brittle bones will be as strong as steel after this!" Edd: "I could just increase my calcium intake–" Eddy: "Aw come on. All you gotta do is run!" tries it. He quickly slips off the treadmill with a scream and lands at Kevin's feet. Kevin: laughing "Oh, my ribs!" Rolf: "Sausage and ribs, yes?" Eddy: "Forget them. This one will be easy." holds out a jump rope. "Go for it, Sockhead!" attempts it once and fails completely. The kids all laugh at him. Edd: up to a dumbbell in front of Eddy "Oh let's quit now, this is embarrassing!" Eddy: "You can't quit! We're just warming up!" ---- is in position to lift the dumbbell. Eddy: "When I'm done with you, you'll be the next Charles Cullis Supreme." Edd: "But Eddy, muscle expenditure can cause unsightly stretch marks." Eddy: "Your brain's the only thing with stretch marks. LIFT!" Edd: "I really don't think I can." attempts to lift it. He somehow manages to do it, and it goes over his head. While he is unsteady, he has still managed to lift the dumbbell. Edd: excited "LOOK!" dumbbell falls off, and he tilts to the side that kept its weight. Ed: "Good job, Double D!" throws a handful of Chunky Puffs at him, and the kids laugh. Edd, mortified, pulls his hat down over his face. Ed picks him up and carries him off. Eddy follows. Eddy: "This is harder than I thought." ---- Eddy: a plastic tree to a makeshift wrestling ring in the construction zone "This'll prove to everyone that Double D's a champ!" Ed: the ropes to the tree in order to complete the ring "Look out Eddy!" Eddy: that the ring is complete "Bingo." on a porta-potty door "Everything's set up! Get outta there!" Edd: out from the Masked Mumbler "Eddy, wrestling? Please." shuts the door. Eddy: "C'mon Double D, wrestling is the ultimate de-wimpifier." Edd doesn't give in "Okay, don't come out. You can live in there forever." Edd: "But it smells funny." Eddy: him out "Cool. You'll be world champion in no time!" now get to see Edd in full battle regalia. His uniform consists of a red leotard with a belt around the waist and a plunger on top of his head. Edd: "I don't wanna fight, Eddy." Eddy: "What are you talking about? Wrestling ain't about fighting. It's all strategy and tactics!" Edd: interested "Like chess!" Eddy: "Exactly! Now, let's find you a challenging opponent." ---- is sitting in the lane with Plank. He feeds Plank a spoonful of yogurt and then feeds himself one. Jonny: "Leave some for me, Plank!" Plank: Jonny: "Okay, okay! You must have a hollow leg, you piggy." Jonny is looking away, Eddy replaces Plank with a hollow stump. This stump, like Plank, has a face drawn on it in crayon. Jonny: "Here you go." the change "Ooh, oh, Plank. You've certainly let yourself go. No more sweets for you!" ---- bangs on a pan with a spoon. A close-up of Edd's masked face is seen, followed by a shot of Plank, sitting on a chair in a corner of the ring. Edd: "This is not good." at Eddy "Eddy, please reconsider. He's frightening me!" Eddy: "Plank's just playing mind games." Edd to the center of the ring "Don't fall for it. Look him straight in the eyes, and watch out for those sharp corners." the pan again "Get it on!" Edd: Plank falls on his foot "Yow! Ig! Goo! Ouch!" steps on Plank and slips "Eddy! Help me!" hits a rope and is propelled directly at Edd. Plank hits Edd on the side of his head. Eddy: Plank "Double D! Here! Take him down!" hauls Edd to his feet and hands Plank over. Edd: with Plank "Corners!" Eddy: "Throw him!" throws him. Eddy: "Get angry!" Edd: "Grrr. Ow. That gives me a headache, Eddy." Eddy: "Well then, you should sit and rest." Edd: "Oh, boy..." Eddy: Edd on Plank "Easy does it. Ha ha! One two three. And the winner is...The Masked Mumbler!" is around to witness Edd's glorious victory. Eddy: "If there was a crowd, they'd be going wild!" Jonny: angry "You guys think you're so smart. You guys are just a bunch of phonies!" Eddy: "Plank lost, fair and square." laughs. "Get it? Square? Plank?" Jonny: "Cheaters!" kicks Edd in the shin. Edd, stumbling around in pain, runs into the Kankers, who have suddenly appeared. Eddy: "Kankers. Who invited you?" Lee: Eddy "What are you doing here?" Ed: eating Chunky Puffs "We're wrestling!" Lee: "Wrestling, ha!" Eddy "I love it when you raise your eyebrow like that." Eddy: "Oh, you're not getting to me, Lee Kanker." Lee: "You Eds are so cute when you do stupid stuff." Kankers laugh. Eddy: to come up with a retort "Who–uh–ahh!" Lee: "Ha! I say we wrestle you! May and Marie are great at purple nurples." Eddy: "You're on, Kankers!" Ed: "What's a purple nurple?" Edd: "I think it has something to do with a strudel filling." Ed: "Cool!" ---- is underneath his cow, milking it. He pulls out a cup and offers it to Jimmy. Rolf: "Please pass down this milk, my cow is quite gorged." Jonny: "Plank is thirsty." Kevin: "Those Eds are gonna get thrashed!" Eddy: the match "Welcome to the Cul-de-sac Wrestling Championship! Here, all the way from the other side of the lane, you know 'em, you love 'em, you can't live without 'em, The Erupting Eds!" Eds pose. Some mild clapping is heard. Eddy: talking in a "don't care" type of voice "And, the Calcified Kankers." crowd boos the Kankers. Lee growls. Eddy: "Here's your chance, Double D. Get in there!" Edd: to leave the ring "But Eddy, I bruise easily." Eddy: up a toilet paper roll "You're covered." Edd: "Eddy! Washroom cleanliness won't help me now!" Eddy: "No, but these knee pads will!" Edd: "But-but Eddy!" Ed: "Cool, Double D!" has toilet paper rolls on all four limbs. Edd: "Are they at least two-ply?" Marie: into the ring "Come to mama!" Edd: one of the ropes as Eddy drags him to center stage "Oh no! Eddy, stop! Please!" Eddy: "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAA–" grip slips. Edd: "Oh dear." winds up right next to Marie, sitting down. "Hello, Marie." Marie: "Hiya, muffin. Let's play!" then proceeds to use him as a jump rope. Eddy: in horror "Double D's a goner." Rolf: "Your garden is overgrown and your cucumbers are soft!" is then shown wrapping him in his toilet paper. She finishes tying him up. Marie: "Here comes your prize!" then attempts to kiss him. Edd runs away, and she giggles. Edd: "Okay, that's it. Tag me tag me tag me!" tags him and jumps into the middle of the ring. Ed: "Take me to your leader!" runs in circles around May. Eddy: "Give 'em the burrhead bump, Ed!" Ed: in Kankers "I can't, Eddy. My mom says I can't fight girls." tags Eddy. "Tag!" May: "Let's kiss him!" screams and runs away. The Kankers: "Come back, dumpling!" other two Eds continue to eat Chunky Puffs. Lee catches Eddy and proceeds to beat him up by playing him like an accordion. Rolf: dancing "I love this music, it is so shiny." Eddy: "AAAUUH." Rolf: "This is better than counting chickens. Look!" Eddy: lifted by the Kankers, who have formed a tower "AAAH! HELP!" throw him into a frying pan that Lee is holding. She flips him like a pancake. Lee: "I just love home cooking!" flips him to the top, where Marie spins him. Marie: "Spin, dry, and tumble!" throws him down and lands on him. She then proceeds to throw him into the ropes. Ed: "Hi Eddy!" Eddy: "HELP!" rebounds off the ropes towards the middle of the ring. The Kankers have rigged up their own slingshot on the other end, and they send Lee flying straight towards Eddy. She hits him dead-on and proceeds to beat the Eds up. Kevin: "Whoa, cool!" Jonny: "Close your eyes, Plank!" Jimmy: "Holy cow!" Sarah: "Ewww!" Rolf: "Ha-ha!" Kevin: "Purple nurples." Eddy: "WAAAH!" Edd: "Not good! Not good!" laughs. ---- Kevin: sarcastic "I guess the Eds showed us." Rolf: "Ya, perhaps we should take up basket weaving." laugh and walk away. Lee: the ring "Wrestling the Eds sure is fun." Marie: her "I'm hungry." Eds are tied together in a knot. Ed pulls out the box of Chunky Puffs and proceeds to eat. Eddy: "Hey! Give me some of those!" spills some cereal on Eddy's face. Edd picks up some of it and eats, happy. Category:Season 1 Category:Season 1 Scripts Category:Scripts